[Wrong]dezvouz

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This post is an inspiration from the very famous “Rendezvous”,a show hosted by the very stunning Simi Garewal which airs on Star World. I have tried a spoof of the same show and entitled it as “[Wrong]dezvouz” as this goofy show is all about satire, sarcasm and stupidity. To make the show more inane, I ve sketched a Mallu host “Achyutan Nair” to host the show..Below are some of the top notch funny and insulting questions shot by Nair to different celebrities from different episodes. From this point (Malayalam accent) , you folks have to follow and catch up with the Malayalam lingo wherever italicized.. Catch my point!!

[Wrong]dezvouz with Our CSK bowling Coach Venkatesh Prasad:

(Camera rolls)
Nair: I yam here with the very popular, Venky… the man behind the bowling extravaganza showcased by our CSK boys in their CL twenty-twenty(read it as dundy-dundy)..

Nair:Hi Venky, how are you? I will get directly to the point.. With ur horrifying bowling records , how do think ppl even got an idea of making u d bowling coach? Watever u say s not going to justify this asinine act of CSK choosing you but still I wanted(wanded) to ask u in person to see what you reply…

Venky:Hi Nair..Am good! Ya I still wonder if its some kinda wild dream I am living on when I think I have been made the coach of the CSK team. I feel more surprised when ppl attribute my bowling coach to that victory..wat a funny World!!I actually am myself ashamed of my records and performances when I played ,but I ROFL everyday infront of the mirror when I think ppl elected me to coach a winning team. :P I always believed in a saying “Two wrongs make a right” (it actually is not dat way).I think it’s the combo of me and Stephan Fleming that made such a right team and gave a positive influence.

Nairs Pick: punch(punj) line…
Venky: I realized my achievements and feat in World Cricket only when the most revered legendary commentator Arun Lal had high praise for me in one of his interviews.

[Wrong]dezvouz with the ever gorgeous(what did I jus say!! :O ) Rakhi Sawant:
(Camera rolls)
Nair: Good morning aunty(aundie) ! Its Nair uncle(ungil) here to interview(inderview) the ever beautiful(beaudiful)(am sooo gonna regret dis statement!!) Rakhi Sawant..

Nair: What is the secret(segred) behind you being so disgusting and repelling.? What are your complicated and controversial future plans?

Rakhi: Good Morning Mr.Sexy uncle. Thanks for the compliment. I just love myself no matter how digusting and repelling I am. I love controversies and limelight I get for my slutty actions. I just wanna be popular,I chose this way. I even went to the extent of starting a show called “Rakhi ki swayamvar” to prove to the world that I am a dirty lass and bring to light the degree of my sanctity I take great pride in doing it.
About my future plans,I am planning to start another show “How slutty can you get?” on an international stage. I expect lot more cynicism and criticism whatsoever,but I am ready to face them all because I am a worshht b**** on earth.
Hearing all of it our Nair Uncle’s ears started bleeding badly. He founded it very difficult to edit the interview as he had to censor with only *beep* sound over most of the words.

Nairs Pick: punch(punj) line…
Rakhi:I got a lot of acclaim and chance to flirt and become dirty with all eligible bachelors in india,few spinsters too ;) through my show.

[Wrong]dezvouz with most popular debut shortfilm artist “Swami” Nithyanandha:
Nair:Respect! Respect!Respect!kunckle taps with “Swamiji”. I am here with a man who needs no introduction(indroduction) ,the man who with his 10min video became super popular,the god man who surfaced shaking(shaging) the country’s faith in the religious leaders and godmen.
Nair: Pranams! Wat a man..Wat a way to be into limelight..wat an amusing scandal.. I just have one curious question..
Swamiji interrupting

Swamiji: Ranjitha’s phone number?

Nair: Naughty Swamiji!! No No..but ya after(afder) the show.. Coming to the point ! With Imran Hasmi making a mark as the greatest kisser why don’t you give a try in cinema? You can make a mark in films like u know…
.
Swamiji: Jai Ranjithaya Namaha! First of all as justification to my “not so godmanly” act said by the ppl, I defend myself in bringing out a stress buster which got released as a scam. People have their own stress buster activity,some see movies,I see movie actresses but someone saw me seeing this movie actress..Damn him!
Ya now that I am no more treated as a Swamiji, I’d want to make a debut in movies. I have been getting offers from Bollywood,Kollywood,Tollywood ,Mollywood for guest role in their movies.But none seem to have a nice lady heroine like Ranjitha.So I had to deny them all.I’d even go with Namitha but she s busy with some other Swamiji.But given a chance I’d go for doing a full length ,u know that kinda movie.

Nairs Pick: punch(punj) line…
Swamiji:Instead of hooking up with Ranjitha,I feel I should have participated in Rakhi’s reality show.I must have got a better publicity.!

[Wrong]dezvouz with the very talented actor,Dancer Dr.Sam Anderson:
(Camera rolls)

Nair:Welcome(welgum) to the show Sam. I have watched your film and Rofled a lot of times..especially during your emotional scenes.How do get to excel in acting,dancing and all spheres of tamil cinema? :P (laughs to himself)

Sam:Hi viewers.First about my dancing,I would like to thank my dancing gurs,my Rolemodels Mr.Bagyaraj,T.Rajendar etc. for their inspirational contribution to dance in tamil cinema.I have grown up watching them and that’s how well it has reflected in my unbelievably awesome dance performances.Kudos to the masters!
And about acting,what can I say! It’s God’s gift.With such reputation I went and approached Mani Ratnam to star me in one of his films,dunno what happened he got admitted in the hospital quite recently.May be he was shocked about my humbleness to work with him.Carzy fans you know!
Nairs Pick: punch(punj) line…
Sam:The future of tamil cinema is in my hands.


P.S. This post of mine got a pretty good response in my office blog.So i tried this in my external blog too with little addition.Pardon me I couldn help but using some censored words which I’ve managed not to use directly.I ve made use of (* and u know..).

Hope you all liked readin it! :)